I should be divorced.
It is simple as that. I’ve been married for 12 years, but I should be divorced.
Why should I be divorced? Because I was selfish. I wanted to focus on my work rather than my new wife.
We were only married for about 8 months when it all happened. I was offered an opportunity to move to another town for an unknown amount of time and build up a new client for my consulting company. Sounds like a good opportunity right? I thought so. In fact, I thought it was such a great opportunity that I told my co-founder that I would go without talking with my wife.
Yep, that’s right. I chose to move myself without even talking to my newlywed of 8 months. But that’s not the worst part.
The worst part is that I told her that, since she couldn’t join me while she finished college, I’d have lots of time to get things done that I haven’t been able to since we got married. Ouch!
I should be divorced.
At this point, I started to prepare to move. While the move was only about 4 hours away, it started to seem like another country. As the date approach, I started to realize my mistake.
At the date approached, I was broken.
I was broken because I did what was more important for me than for my family.
I was broken because I was focused on me, not my wife.
I was broken because I thought I ruined my marriage before it had really started.
I should be divorced.
During the slow 4 hour drive, I started to wake up. I started to realize the bad decisions I had made. I started to realize that I may have lost the only person I would ever want as my spouse. I was broken more than ever before.
I immediately called my family and told them what I did. There were two options: quit my job and move back, or stick with the move. I talked with my wife and we decided to stick out the move for now. I spent every day trying to prove myself to the client to build trust and reach that day when I could finally move back home.
Things were rough, but my mom helped me through it by providing some comforting verses from the Bible. She had been going through a difficult time herself and she had recently returned to her focus on church and Jesus Christ.
It was these verses that made the impact on my the most. They provided comfort to me, because the writer went through the same heartache. The writer went through the same brokenness. The writer knew what kind of pain I was experiencing. The writer was God through King David in the Book of Psalms.
I should have been divorced, but I wasn’t.
Over the next few months, my wife and I started to go to a local church. We tried a few churches until we found one that fit our lifestyle (part of town, type of pastor, loving church members, etc). We heard messages from the pastor that told us about Jesus. It took us several months before we fully understood what God was trying to do.
I should have been divorced, but God saved us.
In the end, I realized that there was more to life than work. Life is about relationships. Specifically, two types of relationships: a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and relationships with those around me.
The first relationship is a relationship with Jesus Christ, who made the ultimate sacrifice by “taking the bullet” for all of my mistakes – from the time I was born until I die. Father God, who loves us so much that he gave His Son Jesus to be born and die for us, is accessible to each of us through Jesus, who was raised from death on the third day. That is a powerful relationship and the first in my life.
The second relationship is a relationship with those around me. Only through Jesus can I be given grace through love to be forgiven, and that love needs to be shown to others around me. I have good days and bad days, but God has changed me in some amazing and positive ways over the past 10 years. He continues to change me today and I pray that He continues to change me that I may help impact others in the same positive way.
I should be divorced, but I’m not. Thank you Father.